Over time, there are those commercials that are classical, you know, the ones you see on the superbowl, they are memorable and funny. There are videos going around the internet that are intellegent and witty, and on the contrary, there are videos from both sources that absolutely suck, and I'm here to complain about them.
5) Salad Fingers
The reason for this being on the list is pretty obvious. It was funny the first time, sort of. But when you go around your school, and people are like "YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! IT'S FUNNY AS HELL!" and then they show you Salad Fingers? Dude, I saw it like, 3 years ago. It's not funny anymore. Would you laugh at the "Wazzuuuuup" commercial from, oh, I don't know, 1999? Nah, you wouldn't. Why? Its all about wearing down the humor. Salad Fingers MAY have been funny the first time, but by god. When you play it 8,000 times a day, it tends to make people want to drown you in a sea of grease-fire.
4) "I just wanna play video games"
You know how there are those bands with kids that are trying out the rock band scene, but absolutely suck at making music? This is the epitome of that. 12 year-old kids singing about video games completely infecting the veins of what us normal people call Life. The voices are whinier than anything Linkin Park has EVER produced, and the video is just as bad as anything Creed has EVER produced. The band that made this song, Blackout, doesn't sound like a standard band. They sound like a cat stuck in a washer set to permanent press.
3) ANY MENTOS COMMERCIAL. EVER.
You're walking down the street, and you are pissed off. Why? That's up to you. Some cheesy looking dude walks past you holding up a stick of what looks like a conveniantly wrapped stick of dynamite, smiling his ass off. Then he pops in this oddly colored tablet and pops it into his mouth and smiles like god himself just showed up alongside him and gave him the most epic high five of all time. What, is the dude crazy, and taking a pink-colored cyanide pill? Nope, it's just Mentos, the freshmaker. They made a product you can eat like a Pez into the holiest thing on the planet. It's edible cross. That's what every Mentos commercial that exists percieves them as. I wouldn't be the least suprised if they made a Mentos commercial where there is a man on his deathbed dying of a terminal illness. And a man in a cat costume shows up and throws a pack of Mentos at the dying mans face, and bolts the hell out of there, laughing hysterically. I guess I really walked around the reason as to why I hate this commercial. It's because it's really cheesy, and all over a piece of candy that REALLY doesn't make you feel any fresher than if you were to skip a shower for a week and finally take one. Mentos; The irritator.
2) The Budwieser "Wazzup" commercial
God, I hope I don't even need to explain how irritating this ad was. Again, it was yet another "it made me smirk the first time" ads, but that was it for a lifetime. I was in grade school at the time, and once every kid saw that ad, it's all I ever heard.
For a whole year.
Think of this, folks; Do YOU like it when some random guy walks up to you and just yells "WAZUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!" in your face? I'd really hope not. Personally, I hate being yelled at, unless I unintentionally or purposely screwed up somewhere. And you know what else? THE PHRASE HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PRODUCT! The term "Bud" was used twice to my recollection in that commercial. A lot of ads are like this, though. Pepsi especially. I guess that's the concept that pisses me off. How many of you would totally understand a commercial if it was like this; There's a polar bear breakdancing, and then he gets held captive by space pirates, and then a month and a half later, a hawk comes and rescues the polar bear. What label will I throw into that, folks? Okay, McDonalds. McDonalds, paying homage to breakdancing polar bears and red-tailed hawks everywhere. My point is, products are thrown into commercials totally irrelevant to what is being sold, and there are people like me on this planet who have too much logic, and actually ask the question no one else will.
"How the hell does this even make sense?"
1) The Gummy Bear song
Simply put, it's one of those songs you don't EVER hear people singing in person, but you actually hear playing in department stores. For me, it's commonly heard in the AMC of Mall of America, although that's not what it's called anymore, it's like, Theatres of America, or something totally evidant and lame. For example, my first time hearing the "gummy bear" song was when, as mentioned, I was at the AMC, I was in the bathroom doing my business, and that song came on. Is there a single person on this planet that likes to hear songs about sugar-filled bear-shaped gellies while they are taking a leak? Or option 2? Nah, because the point of a bathroom is to excrete what they just are/drank, not to hear a song about something edible, and want to eat that particular substance while, simultaneously, cleaning out their system of something relevant to, in this case, gummy bears. Oh, I really forgot the main factor to why I hate this video/song the most. The lyrics are high pitched and repetitive, the beat gets really old after the first whole verse, and the video is just a green gummy bear poking at its fat stomach, and getting caught in things that most people dont get caught in. Did I mention he drives a sweet car?
It's trying to be cute, and honestly, it's sickening.
